My Idea of God is not Perfect

From one of my favorite writers, C.S. Lewis, comes this stimulating thought: Our idea of God, as imperfect as it is, must grow as we do.

“My idea of God is not a divine idea. It has to be shattered time after time. He shatters it Himself.”
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Is C.S. Lewis’s notion true? Does my idea of God evolve over time? Might it be, on occasion, shattered?

Yes, I think it is. Our concept of God is not divine or perfect or complete. As we change and grow and experience life and see new things in the Bible, we see him in a new light. Perhaps we see things we never have—some wrinkles around the eyes, a crease in his neck, or new gray in his beard.

Perhaps grace starts to appeal more than power. Perhaps creation blows our mind anew. Perhaps David and Bathsheba becomes more interesting than David and Goliath.

God doesn’t change. But our understanding of him does.

In my own evolution I’ve gone back to the beginning. I’ve found new intrigue in simply believing he exists. I relish the notion that at one time he alone existed, all by himself, and for some reason, wanted someone he could love, perhaps someone in his image, so he created matter out of nothing, let’s say 13.8 billion years ago, then extracted out of this pool of matter, a being in his very image—us humans.

We were it! We were the object of his love. We were the pinnacle of his creation. Above angels and every other created being, we were the most special.

I’m sorry, that is just the greatest story ever conceived of.

But out of all the elements of that story, what blows my mind most is not the creation of matter or the 13.8 billion years or him fashioning a human.

What boggles me most is that we were fashioned in his image. We reflect him. We have his heart in some way. We are an extension of him, an offspring, a relative, a descendant, in his bloodline. We have, inside of us, a piece of God. That piece of him pulses and radiates and longs for home and is connected to home and knows where home is even though we’ve never been there. That piece of him resides in every human, regardless of country or creed, and knows that he should treat his fellow as he would like to be treated.

Even though I’ve heard about the image of God for over fifty years, it fascinates me and perplexes me and thrills me more than ever. This idea of God is big enough and grand enough and expansive enough to fill me up for the rest of my life.

But I’ve also had other ideas of God evolve.

I used to pick apart how other people practiced their faith, thinking God was just as picky. But I've changed my mind. I mean, look how Jesus saved his strongest words for the nitpicky Pharisees—nobody was rebuked harder. I want to be as far away from them as I can be.

I used to find the victory in the David and Goliath story more motivating than the recovery in the David and Bathsheba story. No more. Now grace trumps power. The magnitude of David’s sin is only outmatched by the elegance of his recovery. This story is, in my opinion, second only to the Jesus story.

I used to have a works-oriented faith. After all, God helps those who help themselves. Right? Well, that’s not in the Bible and nor is achievement-oriented religion. I still do good works. I still aim to please God. But now I let God be God and live with the results.

What about you? Is your understanding of God stuck in the past? Was it formed when you were a kid and hasn’t changed since?

If not, you are missing out. You are missing the greatest part of life: Getting to know God better, seeing new facets and new wrinkles, getting a bit closer to the mystery, and above all, at least in my mind, getting an inch closer to understanding what it means to be a creature fashioned in the image of God.

Thank you, CS. You never fail to provocate.