The 55th Thing I’ve Learned in 65 Years: “Forgive Liberally”

This week it’s #s 50-57 out of 65 things I’ve learned in 65 years. These are mine, peculiar to me, given my DNA and my experiences and my environment. Think about them and see what fits for you.

Miscellaneous

50.  Have a bad cop in your life. If you don’t want to do something, or don’t want to be the heavy, then let someone or something else be the bad cop. Your spouse … your job … your schedule … your health … the list is endless.

I recently asked someone to do something I thought they may not want to do—but I asked anyway. She texted me back that she would be glad to but her schedule—which she outlined in detail—didn’t allow it. I looked at the text and smiled. I knew she didn’t want to and was amused at how smooth she was about declining. Part of me appreciated her graciousness. Ah, the beauty of a bad cop.

I say this because I’ve been too direct in the past. I’ve felt the need to be totally transparent and upfront.

Well, I feel differently now. People don’t need my unvarnished truth. Now, if I don’t want to do something, instead of just a direct ‘no,’ I often create or use a bad cop.

I’m not saying we should lie. No. I try to never do that. But I sure have gotten awfully close sometimes.

Even the Bible says, … Out of your mouths should come … ‘only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.’

51.  Enjoy time alone. If that’s your jam, like it is mine, relax into it. Embrace it. Ignore the people who think you’re weird. (You are weird, like me, and it’s time you accept it … haha!) Alone isn’t necessarily lonely.

Here’s my perfect pie: A lot of time alone, punctuated by great time with Joyce, the fam, and a few friends. I need all those ingredients. I need them measured perfectly. I need them baked at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Then voila! The perfect pie.

You may not be the guy who has as many friends as the guy on the Bud commercial. You may not be the guy who talks to his college roommates anymore. You may not be the guy with a ‘band of brothers.’ You may end up being the guy whose closest friend is his wife. That’s okay. It works for me.

52.  Lean into your weirdness. Admit it. Know you are unique. We all are. It’s just that some of us admit it before others. And hopefully those who love you will love your weirdness, too.

If not, ignore this whole point and just keep your weirdness to yourself.

53.  Unsubscribe. It works. It will keep your inbox clean and it only takes one or two clicks. And it feels sooo good to have a clean inbox.

54.  Be comfortable with not competing in sports. (At the tournament level, I mean.) Maybe competing makes you too angry. Maybe it takes something that would otherwise be fun and makes it work. How about just enjoying something just to enjoy it. That’s what I do.

55.  Forgive liberally. Why? Because you, too, need forgiveness. And if you don’t graciously give it, it will not be given to you. Thus, the law and quid pro quo (this for that) that Jesus set up: “If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

And it is a quid pro quo, which is a Latin phrase meaning, ‘this for that.’

And if you don’t think you need forgiveness or will need forgiveness … if you think your nose is that clean … if your estimation of yourself is that high … then you, my brother, have problems beyond forgiveness.

56.  Find your sweet spot at work. Each of us has one, something God blessed us with, something we are naturally good at, and something that suits our character. Once you find it, hone it, improve it, lean into it, enjoy it, and find out how to expand it. Even if it’s not some noble ability; even if it is mundane—it will be your way to pay the bills.

And once you pay the bills, then you can chase your noble pursuit. Work is work. Don’t expect it to be more than it is.

57.  Don’t stop believin’. Just kidding. Come on! Being a child of the 80s I had to give proper props to Journey.